Party Tricks Pillows

"Nobody likes a showoff."

"Mmmm... Let's see... Little cable cars...ah...ah...halfway to the...to the...aha! To the stars! ...I Left My Heart in San Francisco! Tony Bennett! Right?"

Todd realises his ability to levitate tea bag string will never translate into hard cash.

"Wow, Tia Carmen...that's amazing! How do you do it?"

'Pepper, anyone?'

Udder Horns.

Child with an eyeball in his mouth.

'Isn't there ANYTHING you can do, Doctor?'

'...open beer bottles with his teeth.'

'No wine for Jim, Krystal. He's afraid it might upsetting his stomach.'

"And do you have any other skills?"

"I can't believe how COMPETITIVE the job market has gotten. The company I interviewed at today already has 16 employees who can burp the ABCs!"

Beach con-man.

'Your shoe's untied.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

Candid Camera store.

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"welcome man cave."

"She's all over YouTube."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."