Party Trick Champion Pillows

International Championship of Opening Bottles Without a Bottle Opener

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"I got a job!"

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.

"Any other skills?"

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Wow. You're amazing!

'Isn't there ANYTHING you can do, Doctor?'

'Hello, my name is Death'

'Ordinarily, that wouldn't bother me, except Doc did the same blindfold trick last week, when he did my colonoscopy.'

Rabbit pulls magician from a hat.

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

"At my birthday parties you call the shots, but out here you do as I say, soldier!"

"Houdini's most embarrassing moment"

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

Fry's Family: Uncle Frank always preferred his eggs hard-boiled.

"Sure, we saved a lot of money, but in hindsight we probably should've seen the surgeon instead of the magician."

'I told you not use your pockets! now they think we're piñatas!!!'

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

William Tell attempting to shoot olives of a boy's head with a tiny crossbow.

'...open beer bottles with his teeth.'

Child with an eyeball in his mouth.

"And do you have any other skills?"

Waiter is about to give diner the Turkey Surprise dinner.

'It's 600 bucks regardless of how freaked out your kid gets.'

"You can cut out the victor dance, Candy Boy!"