Party-switcher Admirer Pillows

"My campaign for president is what America needs...I've got all the bases covered. I was a liberal Democrat. I was a Republican and now I'm an Independent...which means I'm not one of those losers anymore!"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Masquerade

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

Cheers

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

Gorgeous Groovers.

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

Vampire wih no reflection at fancy dress party

"But I prefer to let my Twinkies speak for me."

Mass Deportation Plan

'Hi, my name is Daniel.' 'And I am Thor,' thinks his penis.

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

"Hey, everybody, look who's here!"

"Does anyone know whose husband is under the coats?"

Myanmar Peace Talk

Paris Hilton

"Guess what Darling, Nigel's telephone number is exactly the same as my salary."

Two tired men on a train - 'Clubbing or parenting?'

"Honestly larry, I don't want a bronze Adonis. I much prefer a burnt umber twiglet"

'I saw your cosmetic surgeon on TV last night... Oh no, silly me, I'm getting mixed up with the late night Frankenstein movie.'

"So you just assume that every stranger you meet with a vaguely Russian accent is some sort of bot?"

'You told Kyle Jen's secret? After two glasses of wine, it's going to be as secret as the Super Bowl.'

Man Exhausted From Dancing

Singing at the Party

"Those people look snobby."

Jerry shows off his costume for the rest home Halloween party.

"Thank god our drinks are protected."

Angela Merkel

"I design tea-bags actually."