Party Storyteller Pillows

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

Daughters at Bedtime

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Don Pasquale

Mother Goose Spoilers

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Lute

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Maestro

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'