Concert Storyteller Pillows

The Cherry Tree Retirement Home. . .

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Drummer

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Lute

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Don Pasquale

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Men dancing

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Maestro

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Sailor boy

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."