Party-loving Legal Eagle T-Shirts

'... the party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"White Collar Prison"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'I think its being tapped.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Judge getting hair done.

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

I'm representing Rudy in your relationship discussions. It's common sense. It will enable both parties to not get too emotional. You're trying to prevent emotion from bleeding into a relationship discussion. Check. Dumbest thing I've ever heard! Calm down.

L.A. Law

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

Attorney-at-play

"The Attorney's Lunch—may I hear the warranty again?"

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

"Before I give you this anonymous Valentine's card coudl you just sign this waiver confirming that you won't fall uncontrollably in love with me...or take out a sexual harassment suit!"

"You're charged with blowing the roof off, bringing the house down, and totally killing it. How do you plead?"

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

Computer Aided Divorce.

Sue the Author: 1pm-3pm

I think you need to recuse yourself from this trial, your honor. I plan to flirt with this witness, and you're much too handsome to compete with.

The attorney's Blue-Plate special: Red Snapper, embroiled in a hot legal dispute.

'What an evening! I could have sued all night!'

"My client is completely rehabilitated, Your Honor, in a grabass sort of way."

"Your honor, allow me to introduce Fluffy Pants, my support cat."

'Saul Werman, Attorney at Law... I got a call from someone in need of 'wegal wepwesentation?''