Parkour Pensioner T-Shirts

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Piracy on a boating lake

How about going easy on the carbs

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

Life's a Bench.

Psychiatry in the Park

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"You've been free-running again, haven't you?"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"It's unusual to see them reading this time of year."

Woman feeding squirrels and elephants nuts.

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

'This bread's actually meant for multiple ducks.'

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

Dog park. I'm terrible with names, but I'm good with butts.

In summer, the nut-jobs buried by squirrels the previous fall begin to sprout.

Beefeater

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'Has it ever ocurred to you that I just might like a jumbo burger, fries and a shake?'

"Sitting here with you is so perfect … which reminds me: You can never die."

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"I miss the free food, but it's nice to get our seat back."

Parkour for the over-40s.

Man makes pigeons perform tricks for crisps.

'You spoil those pigeons.'

The walking frame for the mobile immobile.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Man, this guy's killing me!'

Antoine listened to his instincts - which he kept on his smartphone.