Parking Officer Pillows

'Couldn't you forget your job just for one day!'

More Useful Doomsayers

You said this transfer would be a great opportunity for me! Parking Patrol. No, I said you'd be able to write your own ticket.

"I was merely signifying - don't give me two tickets."

'I don't care if the engine is running. You can't leave it parked out there!'

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

'I can park anywhere I want and never get a ticket.'

"'Kiss of life' from a parking officer?! I'd rather die!!"

"No, this is parking wardens' heaven you need lost persons' heaven."

Jurassic Parking Lot

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Nice park. . .

Drive-in fast food, drive-in bank and drive-in car park.

'My Alfa Romeo, My Alfa Romeo, where for art thou?'

Ballet Parking.

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

No Double Parking

Valet (ballet) parking.

'No, you don't get extra credit for a creative parking technique!'

"Harry, you're wrong on every level."

'2 hours! I ain't parked here but 45 minutes.'

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.

You know the opera was a flop when even the orchestra leaves early to get to the parking garage before the rush.

"What are you doing??"

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"

Explanation #23 for why you seem to get a parking ticket the instant your meter expires.

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

Meter Maid

'You're a fiend, you are, Hardcastle.'

Car parked illegally has 'divorce attorney on call' sign in window.