Parenting Trendsetter Gifts

"Where did we go wrong? Steven is the only child in his class without a food allergy."

"They came home and got straight on with their homework - apparently it's the latest craze."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Baby rocks!

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"How is it gendered?"

'The stuka brought you.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

The conversion.

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"Does it come with instructions?"

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers

"Which one's mine?!"

Designer Baby.

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"Support the head!"