Parenting Podcast Fan Gifts

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'The child is very illogical'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

Suffering from Cooties?

"I need to know who started it."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Growth Charts

I love my family!

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Time for bed, guys."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Crying baby

Early childhood development

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

Therapy for babies.

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

Lemming mothers