Parenting Pirate T-Shirts

The Whirled review - Baby on board!

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"Should we keep the receipt in case of returns."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'Ugh Not Again!'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'I home-schooled all seven kids. Right now I'm in the teacher's lounge.'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

Remote Control Pirate Ship.

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

"When can I redeploy?"

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"It's your job to work hard and get good grades, David. It's my job to make your mother laugh."

'I do set limits. For example, he wasn't allowed to use the tablet computer until after he downloaded a potty training app.'

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"My dad put in a new security system."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."