Parenting Dynamics Pillows

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"They grow up so fast."

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.