Parenting Dynamics T-Shirts

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Bond James, Bond."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"They grow up so fast."

A young Don King

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."