Parenting Bookworm Gifts

The psychologist suggests you choose your own punishment. So, do you want your mouth washed out with bar or liquid soap?'

"Only child."

Mother flashes NO sign to daughter saying goodnight to date.

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Eternal Student.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Edgar Allen Poe

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The DaVinci Code

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

The Bookworm

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

The Dorrie Decimal System

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

No-Work Orange

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Television Readers.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Honoré de Balzac

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Blue Stockings

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"