Parenting Bookworm Gifts

The psychologist suggests you choose your own punishment. So, do you want your mouth washed out with bar or liquid soap?'

"Only child."

If raising a kid is so expensive, why did you have Teddy? He's an obnoxious pip-squeak who sucks up money you could be spending on me. If you were an only child, you'd spend all your complaints on me. That's so selfish! Teddy's worth every penny!

Mother flashes NO sign to daughter saying goodnight to date.

'I read all the parenting books, but you always manage to stay one step ahead of me!'

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Eternal Student.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

The Bookworm

Edgar Allen Poe

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The DaVinci Code

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

No-Work Orange

Jean-Paul Sartre

Television Readers.

Honoré de Balzac

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Blue Stockings

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"