Parenting Advocate Gifts

"YOu want to speak to the head of the household? My parents are into shared decision making."

'Kid with suitcase with stickers on it that say 'mums' and 'dads'.

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'Grandparents don't have as much energy as parents, but they're a lot less judgmental.'

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Ah...here they are!"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

The modern generation!

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Toilet Training

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."