Parental Trickster Gifts

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

Mime Tug-of-War

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

'You did that on purpose!'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

'Last year my kids put a sign on my back, but tomorrow, on April Fools Day, I'll be ready, they won't get me again.'

Yes, we have a 'Happy Meal'. It's when you leave the kids home.

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

'Say when.'

"I'll admit, Billy Jenkins' note does look forged...but then again, he did have it notarized!"

'Mind giving him his bath now- he'll be asleep when we get home!'

"See, Kevin ... I told you you'd be too scary if you go trick or treating as a dentist!"

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

"These are payments for babysitters, but it's more exciting to pretend I'm a drug dealer."

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."

'I made this Valentine's card for you in school, mom. What the world needs is more love, and less homework.'

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Practical Jokes Doctors Can't Do

"I've got her red pencil."