Parenting Trickster Gifts

Tom Sawyer, Dad

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

'You did that on purpose!'

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

'Last year my kids put a sign on my back, but tomorrow, on April Fools Day, I'll be ready, they won't get me again.'

Yes, we have a 'Happy Meal'. It's when you leave the kids home.

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.

"I'll admit, Billy Jenkins' note does look forged...but then again, he did have it notarized!"

'Mind giving him his bath now- he'll be asleep when we get home!'

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

"See, Kevin ... I told you you'd be too scary if you go trick or treating as a dentist!"

"These are payments for babysitters, but it's more exciting to pretend I'm a drug dealer."

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

'That's for not taking an interest in archery!'

Practical Jokes Doctors Can't Do