Parental Timeout Seeker Gifts

"Let's play hide-and-I-read-my-book."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'Great teamwork Joey!'

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

"Papi...how come you're always bringing work home?"

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

"I work too hard, I think I need to spend more time with the children... Do we have any?"

"This one's going down."

"I've had it with the nineties!"

"As a child, Timothy would often test his mother’s patience."

"Is your dad in a good mood? We're heading into uncharted territory."

'I told my Mom either the sitter goes, or I go!'

"The scratchpost is for the cat, the other one is for my son."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"Don't make me come over there."

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

Mum sitting in play pen while kids run riot.

Caveman's son on stone inline skates

"Suzi, c'mon doesn't matter where we're going - dad says gas prices are down and we have to go somewhere now."

"Mom, my student loans are so high, I was wondering if I could start doing chores again for an allowance."