Parental Sleep Deprivation Expert Pillows

Cry babies.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"I'm so good at this!"

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Center For Sleep Deprivation

Grants & Recipients

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"At first it was difficult having a new baby. But now I'm doing fine!"

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

'I finally got Benson to get to the job on time. My next chore is to keep him awake on the job.'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

The Slumber Party.

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

Narcolepsy in relationships.

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'