Sleep-deprived Parent Pillows

'Mum's half asleep again!'

"Is he asleep?"

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Cry babies.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Time for bed, guys."

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

"At first it was difficult having a new baby. But now I'm doing fine!"

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

"It's either "Bring your kid to work" day or it's "Drop of handbag in kindergarten" day today?"

"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting out of bed in the morning; you know we do have counsellors in the building if you feel you need support with that."

After years of shuttling teenagers around, Gina started hallucinating that she was morphing into a Chrysler minivan.

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

'You must've really been tired last night. You put the diaper on the dog.'

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"

'I can't sleep, knowing that the increased cost of doing business is being passed on to me!'

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

"I have a problem with resisting arrest."

"It's dawn, Dad. Want to knock off for breakfast?"

"Sometimes I wish I could clone myself."

A Grim Reaper counting skeletons of sheep jumping over a fence.

'Shouldn't you be out in line...'

Coffee. I'm exhausted. I started sleeping on my coin collection to keep it safe, and now I understand the saying "change is hard"!

Things my cat says at 3 am

"I kept tossing and turning all winter!"

'Our eggs should stay nice and warm in the hot sand: Let's go for a swim...'