Parental Persuader Gifts

A Young Girl And Her Pet Cat.

A Tit for Tat.

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Mom can really push my buttons. She installed them."

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"With a good education you can grow up to be anything I want you to be."

'If we're seedless watermelons, where did I come from?'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

What they're thinking.

"Before you know it, they'll be all grown up and moved to Brooklyn."

"I understand that by the time we've hit our teens we'll have them pretty much where we want them."

"It started with sneaking kale into their spaghetti. Before I knew it I was sneaking homework into their video games."

"He expects us to climbdown first."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"Don't make me come over there."

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

Mom's Gym

"I see your problem, honey. You're doing everything 'waterfall'. You should switch to 'agile'."

"Working from home he misses his meetings."

"Wow! Wait'll I tell Dr. Feldman about this dream!"

'I'm glad you were able to persuade your husband to attend, Mrs. Lowe.'

$200,000 to raise a kid in America! Do you regret the expense? Of course not, sweetie! You're worth every cent. That's a relief. Because I need $20 for the movies!

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."

"Not THAT sort of begging..!"

'I should have listened to my parents and not run away to join the circus...'

'I know I spoil her, but I can't say no when she looks at me with her big Bambi eyes...'

'People must be crazy to pay to hear a lecture! I get 'em free at home every day!'

Man who has had his hat ruined by boys showing their lenient mother.

"You'd be a stronger parent if you got more sleep."

'Yes, it's great to be pregnant, but a 22-months pregnancy is too long: I want to see my baby!'