Parental Pressure Enthusiast Gifts

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

New dunce caps

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"Here are all of my dependents."

'He's about to destroy his first city and you're in a meeting?'

Daughter/psychiatrist

State Prison Child Care

Poker Moms

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

Are you calling 911?!

'I won't meet your demands for an allowance increase, so maybe you should become a free agent.'

Mom's Gym

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?

My child is an honor student at Glasslicker Elementary School.

"Yes, it is an impressive collection. I was just wondering if you have any trophies which aren't from your Mum."

'Typical new dad: the kid's still a maggot - barely able to squirm - but Dewey's already brought him a regulation size football.'

"I'm afraid you could do better work in order to get your daughter into this school."

Wait until your father . . . Oh!

"Dad's helping me with my homework. Where do we keep the aspirin?"

'I'm introducing a new system of speeding up the housekeeping chores.'

'Sure he's cute, smart and athletic. But my parents would approve of him and that wouldn't work for me.'

"So what if he paid a classmate to do his homework – it was his own allowance."

A father and his daughter anxiously prepare for her first date.

'...And this is our spare son in case the first one doesn't live up to expectations'

'Stop complaining. It's the only way you can afford to live in the school catchment area.'

'She's already gotten a job offer from Microsoft!'

'I think Mummy's depressed again.'

My child could be a honor student if he tried harder.