Parental Overachiever Pillows

"If you INSIST on helping with her homework she only needs 50 words about her card, not a study of the feline character in relation to familial relationships!"

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Genius Envy

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'They're a very successful family.'

Too big to fail

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'That's your report card and might I add you need to try a little harder.'

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

Be A Doctor

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"This has been a productive homework session!"

"With a good education you can grow up to be anything I want you to be."

Office Task Map

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

"This is your portfolio. Fill it."

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'