Chronic Overachiever Pillows

"I've decided on the prize for top-achiever of the year. A dozen kittens."

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Genius Envy

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

Too big to fail

'They're a very successful family.'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"You're late, Myers!"

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

'That's your report card and might I add you need to try a little harder.'

"The chairman said he wanted to see you when you got out of hospital."

"There must be some way of getting yourself fired."

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

"This has been a productive homework session!"

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"With a good education you can grow up to be anything I want you to be."

Office Task Map

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"