Parental Escape Artist Gifts

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"Afternoon Frank. The kids are still on their six weeks holidays, I see!"

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'...Sometimes the sheer monotony of it all just gets me down.'

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

Prisoner Crossing

Cot Escape.

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'We're looking for someone who will take anything just to get out of the house.'

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

Johnnie Ponderous - Part Three

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"After working from home for ten months, I quit my job to spend less time with my family."

'John keeps wishing he could write a really good novel about desert island.'

Young Houdini

"Running away is hard, when you can't cross the street!"

"No... I want to get OUT of touch with reality."

Playpen Jailbreak.

"It's pro-active, Stan. I'm leaving you before you become a midlife male sleazeball creep."

"Only twelve more hours to go, what are you hoping to bag?!!"

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

"It's not what you think. My family is on the yacht and I needed a little Me Time."

'My daughter can't come to school today - I have a hot nose!'

"We had to clean out our desks today, so I cleaned out my brain while I was at it."

"Between my virtual office and virtual reality headset, there's nothing real going on in my life."

An asylum seeker draws a door on a fence that keeps her in.

Stranded Man Tries To Win Boat Back

'Sounds like all the kids are already here for the labor day picnic... I think I'll wait in the car.'

Man on Desert Island

'I want to go to a place where there's no parents!'

"Your babysitter just rang, she wants to know where you keep your condoms?"

"Isn't this more fun than those old briefs and contracts and things?"