Parental Advisory Collector T-Shirts

'Now that I'm old enough to watch these TV shows without parental supervision, they don't interest me.'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

'He never listened to his mother!'

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

Warring parents

'If your parents want you excused from tomorrow's film on pollination, you'll need a note from home.'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

(Preschool for Dummies)

'Except...That.'

Mom's The Boss

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'

'Son it's time to talk birds and bees; birds and bees have never successfully mated. And that's all you need to know about interspecies sex.'

"My Mom thinks I should clean my room. I'd like a second opinion."

'You gotta try different things! Sometimes a temper tantrum works best an' somethimes sulking an' sometimes not eating!'

Hints for the Park.

"Can I can go to a party?"

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"I've said it until I'm blue in the face - keep sitting on walls and something bad's going to happen. But what do I know? I'm just your mother."

Researching Life's Deepest Questions! How do I keep tabs on my daughter's internet use? How do I block my mother online?