Parent-wrangler Gifts

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

She - Interpreter - He.

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"I'm so good at this!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

Sulk Shows

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"Where's your nose?"

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."