Parent-taming Specialist T-Shirts

"I have a classroom full of rude, undisciplined rowdies! I hate parent-teacher night!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

That's my daughter, Alayna

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

The Working Mum

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

Mommy and daddy Are Always Right!

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

'But darling, instinct only gets you so far in life: You need to go to school as well...'

'You've got to keep it straight. With Mom it's burping, with Dad it's running in the house.'

"Jeffrey, this is Marcus, your new Stunt Double. He'll be riding your tricycle for you from now on."

"Don't use that howl language with me!"

'Did Dr. Spock ever write anything about how to handle PARENTS?'

"What changed? I once said a bad word when I was real little, and everyone laughed!"

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."