Parent-taming Specialist T-Shirts

"I have a classroom full of rude, undisciplined rowdies! I hate parent-teacher night!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

The Working Mum

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

Mommy and daddy Are Always Right!

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

'I'm qualified to deal with any traumatic event because I've raised five children.'

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

"Don't use that howl language with me!"

'I need a new challenge...'

"Jeffrey, this is Marcus, your new Stunt Double. He'll be riding your tricycle for you from now on."

'You've got to keep it straight. With Mom it's burping, with Dad it's running in the house.'

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

'Sorry dear, I have to go straight to work tomorrow.'

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

'But darling, instinct only gets you so far in life: You need to go to school as well...'