Parent Remarrying Pillows

Oldest sibling is last to know about Dad's new girlfriend.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I really think Diana is going to be my watershed wife."

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"I never thought I'd get married again."

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"The toaster your brother gave us is beginning to get on my nerves."

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'