Parent Needing A Laugh Gifts

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"Use your inside scream."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'Now, all I need is a bird.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"The fish isn't renewable, but I know the fisherman has 6 kids and counting."

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

"When do I get my phone call"

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.

Mobile Phone Mobile.

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

'How are the quadruplets?'

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Our Yuppie Dad

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

"No. I have the baby."

"The scratchpost is for the cat, the other one is for my son."

"Were the 'Trolls' internet trolls?"