Parent-child Relationship Explorer Pillows

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent teacher night. She wanted to ask you why I never take an interest in anything."

"I have to be getting back - I'm the glue that holds my parents' marriage together."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

I guess Living in my parents basement does sound better than tried to overthrow my dad in a coup.

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

Boy on father's knee

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Constructing your own prison!

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Young Godzilla.

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

'Great teamwork Joey!'

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Stickers, fairy tattoos, a coloring book ... but no, Mom, I'm not seeing any stretch-mark cream in the goody bag."

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

Teaching kids to count is fine - teaching kids what counts is best.

"Haven't been there, haven't done that."

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

Caveman's son on stone inline skates

"There's a lesson here, son. Being rich doesn't stop it from raining,"

"You call that a made bed?"

Naive.

'Young man, face it. There's not going to be a regime change around here!'

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'