Parent-child Bonding Advocate Pillows

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

First Steps

'Mom, Dad just got a nibble.'

Mother Duck.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

'I know I'm your father, but I'm also your attorney and these father-son talks are considered billable hours.'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"Damn it, agree to whatever she demands. No matter what it takes, I want my mommy."

'Great teamwork Joey!'

"Dad, Cruz and I are going to see 'Planet of the Apes.'"

'He had a tough time fishing today,'

"That's it! You've watched TV out here long enough! We need to spend more family time together! I'm putting this thing in the closet!"

A woman carrying a child carrying a teddy bear

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'

3 Easy Christmas Crafts

"Is there something wrong with the car, Mom?"

"What's it to be Dad? Two quid or Handels water music in G flat?"

'I've got to have a talk with my mother. She thinks the stork brought me.'

Caveman's son on stone inline skates

"Remember, technically, it's not lying if you tell your mother I was teaching you how to drive."

"Dad, sparklers are for kids!"

'There has to be a more humane way to kill time...'

'I can't take the stress test next week. I have to go to the pool with my grandson and show him how to do a one-and-a-half gainer of the high diving board.'

"No offense, Dad, but I'm not really interested in wearing stuff that was cool when you were a kid. I think I can make my own decisions..."

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

'A toast to the graduate. You're in a class by yourself.'

Motherhood and Apple Pie.

Isn't that SWEET,Ron,-he wants you to have his Get-out-of-jail-free card!