Paranormal Punster Mugs

Ghost appears to be struggling within sheet. Fellow ghost says: 'I warned you never to use fitted sheets.'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"All we have left is standing room only."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Note Book

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

Beauty and the Baste

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

Psychologist Birthdays

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

Claude

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"