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"Not until you get rid of that 'death' smell."

'Relax, he just wants directions to cousin Franks's house in Brewster.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Paranormal A-Z...

Dead Funny

Night of the Zombonies.

Chiller Theatre

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Ghost School.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Astral Projection

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"I'm the bad guy..."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Solar Frankenstein

A Club Sandwitch.

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"