Paradise Pundit Pillows

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

Offshore paradise

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

Self Service Island

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"I hope it's not contagious."

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

Not so heavenly

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

'Missin' rib, snake, guilt, eviction. . . and not a Stress Counsellor in sight!'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.

"Wow! I guess you CAN 'take it with you', after all!"

Employees Only Door in Heaven.

Danger! Snake heaven.

"That's not Earth! I knew you were too proud to use the GPS!"