Planet Pundit Pillows

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

"That's not Earth! I knew you were too proud to use the GPS!"

"I hope it's not contagious."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Where does it all end up?

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Obama Healthcare.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"I've always wondered, do light years have half the calories of regular years?"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Budget

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'