Par-putting Enthusiast Gifts

'I like to think of myself as Tiger Woods' greatest nightmare - although I'd don't know why he'd ever dream about me.'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"The goal is to hate yourself."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

"I'm sorry madam, we're right out of Mississippi mud pie. All that's left is the Severn sludge souffle."

"Once I have the motor skills, I'll be knee deep in pudding every. Damn. Day."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

Bake-a-thon.

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

Tee for Two!

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

Self Raising Flour

Jurassic Country Club.

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

"It's a dessert island...!"

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

"We should have taken a eweber."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!

King goes golfing.

'Did you see a ball come this way?'