Paper Avalanche Survivor Gifts

"It appears someone in that building has embraced the idea of going paperless."

Storm in the out tray

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

InIn by-products.

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Stress is often associated with feelings of 'isolation'...It's really important that you see yourself as valued, as useful!"

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

The Wright brothers first unsuccessful flight.

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

It's a big misconception. Everyone thinks hell is all fire. Actually, it's all paperwork.'

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'He just had a near-work experience.'

"I think she's having a Spontaneous Paperwork Induced Collapse."

"Oh, him? He's BORED CERTIFIED."

'Your memo Sir? It's just flown in... er I mean arrived now.'

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

Bureaucratic speech

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

"Okay Mr. Jones, there are one or two little forms to fill in before we can discharge you."

"He was almost caught up to the 90's."

Bureaucratic Hell

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'