Panic Button Enthusiast Pillows

'Once you get the hang of it, crisis management is fairly straightforward.'

"What? The market didn't break a record today? Now where did I put my panic button?"

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"My God, now what?"

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

Fire Backwards.

'Gravity wins - again.'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

"I've got a pulse!"

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

Panic Button

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

"We ran into a marathon."

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'Please, everyone, stand back to give the register some air. We've had a glitch.'

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

Thank you for being able to celebrate in person and remotely. That you for the first responders who keep us safe. Thank you for the healthcare works who keep us healthy. Thank you for farmers and others who made this feast possible. Thank you for those who make pants with strong buttons!

Half asleep.

Lady leaving a crisis management office past an emergency panic button.

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'Which is it, Bill? You had a terrible accident and survived without a scratch. Or, you had a terrible accident and lost a lot of blood?'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'

Water Drop with a Surprise

"Last question, and how would you rate the ambulance response time to today's accident?"