Panic Button Collector Mugs

Lady leaving a crisis management office past an emergency panic button.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'It's a snow mobile.'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

"An alarm clock?! Wow... What have I done to make you hate me so much, Louise?"

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

Toast kidnapper.

Prawn Shop

Custer's Last Rollo

"Was she a roaming Catholic?"

Air Transylvania's Red Eye Flight.

"I must be getting old . . . I crossed over here, but now I can't remember why!"

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"Why have you come over here?"

"Cat nip"

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

"I'm afraid you have only three minutes to live."

'Sir, how long did it take you to learn to drive?'

'And to mark your 50 years oversleeping...'

A day in the life of a serial mis-pronouncer.

"Sheesh Kebab"

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

Party Animal, Party Vegetable, Party Mineral