Pandemic Dodger T-Shirts

"Albert was happy. He hadn't caught corona on his ski vacation nor had he broken any bones."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

The Remote Olympics

Mary had a little spam

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

You finished Netflix

"The sourdough starter says it still believes Covid was a hoax."

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Caution! This tomato soup combined with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas."

Desk plaque: 'Seize the nap.'

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

'Forget the test Mrs. Winslow. Let's send out for pizza!'

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"Well at least they can't see your lips move."

'And Rachel, if you're not back by midnight, this video of you taking a bath in our kitchen sink when you were 2 is getting posted on Youtube.'

Inner Sara Skips Out As Zoom Kicks In

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"You should have called earlier."

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."