Report Card Dodger T-Shirts

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Fear of news.

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

Scapegoat of the Year

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

Hear me, Graduates!

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

'So, who's first?'

Kicking The Habit

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

"I can help you get your finances back in shape – you've just got to believe in me."

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

Gone for Broke College

'Another hike in college tuition! The costs are already killing my folks!'

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.

You've been extending Randy credit to buy food and drinks? You've no right! That's thousands of dollars. Have you any idea what that … Armstrong? Defibrillator. C'mon, really. It's not that bad. Okay, fine, make a show of it. Defibrillator! And a coroner.