Drought Dodger T-Shirts

"Accursed global warming!"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"I did it Dad! I ran all the way home and beat the rain!"

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

Desk plaque: 'Seize the nap.'

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

Inner Sara Skips Out As Zoom Kicks In

"You should have called earlier."

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

Winter depression.

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

'Pemberly, I'd like to tweak you ignorance.'

'Looks like rain. I'm finishing for the day!'