Pandemic Decorator Pillows

Christmas Covid

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Christmas Tree

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Home depot."

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I'm learning to live with existence."

Happy Turkey Day!

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

Face Painting.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

Stuffing the turkey.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Redecorating Easter Island.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'