Pandemic Decorator Gifts

Christmas Covid

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Christmas Tree

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

"Home depot."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Happy Turkey Day!

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Face Painting.

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

Stuffing the turkey.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"