Pan-wielding Pro T-Shirts

Chef walking out

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

James Barrie.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

The History of Anti-stick

A writer goes sailing.

The sword is mightier than the pen.

Forrest Gander

Pen mightier than sword.

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

'We want the most vulnerable...I suggest the one with the Blue Rinse.'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

"Congratulations on opening night."

Hook couldn't believe he hadn't thought of inviting his brother, Captain Flyswat, before.

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

"So how often do you have these dreams about the axe?"

Chick escapes from egg prison.

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

Writer Crisis

'Of course you can't sit there, there's no room, can't you see that... some people!'

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."

Soup Recipe

"My mom won't let me play with anyone like me!"

'What is higher than an admiral?'

'You stood up at the meeting and disagreed with the boss? Wow, I bet there was quite a backlash.'