Pan-wielding Pro T-Shirts

Chef walking out

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

James Barrie.

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

'If nothing sticks to Teflon, how come Teflon sticks to the pan?'

A writer goes sailing.

The History of Anti-stick

Forrest Gander

The sword is mightier than the pen.

Pen mightier than sword.

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

'We want the most vulnerable...I suggest the one with the Blue Rinse.'

"Congratulations on opening night."

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

Hook couldn't believe he hadn't thought of inviting his brother, Captain Flyswat, before.

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

'Of course I remember you-Tomkins,the Peter Pan of the Lower 4th!'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

"So how often do you have these dreams about the axe?"

Writer Crisis

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

Chick escapes from egg prison.

"We can people-watch. Although, when does people-watching become ogling?"

'Of course you can't sit there, there's no room, can't you see that... some people!'

"It's been nice talking to you, but I should probably get back to staring blankly ahead."

"Make me look like more of a people person, you paint-slinging nitwit."

'What is higher than an admiral?'

Soup Recipe

"My mom won't let me play with anyone like me!"