Pampered Parent Pillows

Breakfast in Bed.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'That was fun!'

Spa

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Werewolves of London..."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Baby tells other Baby to call.

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'