Pamper Aficionado Pillows

'Hello room service - could you please send up something for me to roll in?'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Vlad the Inhaler

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Vampire Bat

"Executive shoeshine and bald head buff, sir?"

Lady vampire putting lipstick on in a mirror with no reflection

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

Biting Slippers.

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

Love Hurts