Palmistry Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Will I run for President, you ask? H-m-m-m...let's see what the ol' 'Palm' reading predicts!'

'This is Tabitha. If you're good, she'll read your palm and tell your fortune.'

"Your blood pressure is normal, but I don't like the length of that life-line."

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

'That line means good managerial skills!'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"How's my life line doing?"

Palm Reading

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'See you in two weeks!'

Pie Filling Reader

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'You've got dry scalp.'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"Gas, is it the future?"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

Amateur Palmist

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"I spy something blue."

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

"Relax. I'm just here to trim your nails."

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

'Someone must have stolen your identity. Your fingerprints are missing.'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'