Paleo Diet Devotee T-Shirts

'The stems are better for you.'

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

'I'm not 'out of shape' — I'm evolved!'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

The discovery of asparagus.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

"Cheer up, grod, these are the good old days."

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

Obesity Report